you spoke with a nervous tick that betrayed control
i know! i counted the times you touched your fingers to your throat
(seventeen)
that night, at sara holden’s going away party, you were as pale as a ghost
(ivory white)
i think it weighed on you that you weren’t leaving
or maybe, how you were so afraid that you would never go so you will carry all this weight home
(when all of your fears came true)