Hey Midnight Swinger, how’s the world’s greatest lover tonight?
Emancipated women’s own special delight
So how can the world’s last living Cassonova be alone?
They don’t appreciate the fine kind of lovin' you make
On a scale of 7 you would get a 8
But you’re home by your lonesome most every night
You watch Johnny Carson till you turn out the light
He’s pretty funny and it looks like you are too… Irresistable You!
Hey Midnight Swinger, who’s got the heart that you’re breaking tonight?
A center-fold playmate or a movie star type?
So how can the world’s new Marcello Mastroianni be so blue?
My, what a long, long wait!
Your geisha girl seems to be late
Who’s gona fan 'ya? Who’s gonna peel your grape?
Well, it loks like another bored evening at home
No loving tonight just instant breakfast alone
If loser’s had contests there’s no doubt how you’d do… Undefeatable you!